name='description'/> the Katydid on Love, Home and Health: My Current Dilemma: Is She Beyond Helping?

Friday, May 10, 2013

My Current Dilemma: Is She Beyond Helping?

My Current Dilemma:  Is She Beyond Helping?

Billy has asked me on many occasions..."WHY are you drawn to the under dog or people in some sort of earth shattering dilemma or to just plain old leaches?  Why can't you have a friend that you just sit on the porch with and drink iced tea and gossip?"   Weeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllll, I'm not quite sure.  I just know I can't stand to think there is someone hungry or cold or in a desperate situation with no where to turn...when there's meeee to help  :-/   I would have made a great and very giving...millionaire...but unfortunately...we are just Billy and Katy of Round Knob Canyon and while I'm trying to save the world...one person or family at a time...we don't really have the bank accounts to make that a good hobby...

Billy had a little accident and re-injured an old injury from 20 years ago and I had to take him to Lourdes ER early yesterday morning because the pain was just unbearable...We thought he had a new fracture...but turned out he didn't.   But it was all I could do just to get him in the car and him even on crutches.. without having to call one or two of the kids or neighbors...and we spent our few hours in the ER and headed home and just as I pulled up to the stop lights at the Exit ramp...we saw a very dirty and tired looking middle aged man across the road...hitch hiking to go on North on I-24...and I saw that poor man and my heart just sank and I said, "Well now where in the dickens is HE going and is he hungry?  He doesn't even have a backpack..."  ggggrrrrrrrr  Billy said "Well you've been with meeeeeeeeeeeee for 50 years and "I" am hungry and in PAIN so just concentrate on me for today if you don't mind"  :-/   Which I gladly did because Billy is my ROCK!!!

I remember when Billy was about to retire and was ready to set a date.  And he set me down in the living room and said, "Now, I'm planning on retiring the end of December, 2003 but I need to know we're on the same page here because you can't keep up with your mercy missions to the extent you do now...after I retire....We can't live on a very fixed income and keep up half of Massac County"  :-(
But any WAY...I get in more messes trying to be helpful and kind than any crook in Massac County does...being bad on purpose....

But to my current situation...and I'm going to post this in the fashion of a 'summary' because that's the only way I can get a big majority of it in...because there's just sooooooooo much that's happened and still happening DAILY...so here we go...

I've been trying to help a very close friend who is my age...66...and she's been very alone all of her life.  Never married...lived with her mom and dad until they passed away about 6 months apart a few years ago...she's very reclusive, private, quiet and even a little eccentric.  But she's a very caring person and big on giving when she knows of someone that needs help. She has no computer or cell phone or even satellite TV...so unless you know her and tell her I've told this story she will never know....But we ALL need to hear this story and realize just how fast something like this can happen to any of us when we're older.....For the story we'll call her JANE...

Now, I'm not a person that likes to go shopping with friends or go to this or that with friends...I'm a real homebody and when I'm out and about I just want to get my errands run and get back home unless Billy is with me...but Jane often comes over and she calls every day and has done that for several years and I always take her to eat for her birthday...but lately...the last 3-4 months...she's been showing some very odd behavior traits...being very suspicious of people...calling me and saying she has a prowler and that progressed to a stalker...she began saying her home had ears and eyes and she was hearing voices and the voices were telling her scary things...She'd call and say her home had been robbed while she was gone to town and they took .... a quarter...off the kitchen table....Weeks ago she started having crying spells and we'd be on the phone and she'd just start crying without warning and just sob and have to hang up...

About 8 weeks ago she called to say she had a crush on someone she had just seen out and about and wanted to know how to meet this man and get his attention so he'd ask her out...and I said "Well I'm very old fashioned and I'd NEVER EVER flirt with a man or ask him out...so I don't have an answer for you...if it was meeeeeeee if he didn't notice me and just ask me out...there would BE no date AND you don't even know if he's MARRIED."  So she talked about him every day for 2 weeks....then after 2 weeks...she knocked on our door one morning at 8:30am and said she had big news....She came in and set down and the first words out of her mouth were...."I'm marrying John Smith (this man she was wanting to meet)....and we're having the wedding in Michigan on May 19th and I need you to plan a reception for me here...." I WAS SHOCKED....I said, "Well Jane...just 2 weeks ago you were wanting to know how to MEET John Smith...and now you've already met him and dated him and you're ENGAGED?"  She said "Well we haven't DATED....it's complicated"  I said 'Ooooooooooook...if you haven't dated....do you talk on the phone...does he come to your house...how did you get to know him to get 'engaged'?"  She said "Well we have our ways of communicating...you wouldn't understand...but I need you to order a cake and take me to get a wedding dress"  I knew right then....JANE was in big trouble in the mind...but I had no clue...what was wrong or what to do....I tried to question her but she only got mad and said "John said you are one of the nosiest people he knows and not to tell you anything."  hahahahahaha  Well John knows ME....MUCH better than "I" know HIM'...hahahahaha  So she was only here about 15 minutes that morning and she was off....but then she started calling 4 and 5 times a day with wedding details and things she needed me to do....the wedding quickly moved from Michigan to our Secret Garden and she wanted Billy to give her away and me to stand up with her.....

When I'd try to question her to find out what in the world was going on...she'd just say "Well there's a lot you don't know and I can't tell you ..you just have to trust me'  SOOOOOOOO the crying stopped and she started this giggling phase...and sometimes the giggles were light and playful and sometimes the giggles would go into a deep and scary laugh like you would see on a scary movie...which just scared the gooins' right out of MEEEEEEEEEEE.....

The last 3 weeks have been an absolute NIGHTMARE....She is now seeing people that are invisible to the rest of us and says these people are telling her to do things and say things....she says her stalker is now trying to kill her...she is having horrific hallucinations and headaches.....So she kept calling me the other day and I was trying to work in the garden and I'd hear the phone and run back and forth...and I kept thinking about her as I worked and I just came back in the house about 15 minutes after one of her phone calls and "I" called HER...and I said "Jane....I just called John Smith because I was worried about you and your heath and you about to take this big wedding/honeymoon trip...and I asked him if I could just take you to Massac ER for a good check up and he said YES"  :-/  She said "OH he wants me to go to Massac...I wonder why he wouldn't want me to go to West. Baptist?"  I said "Well he MENTIONED W. Baptist but I told him this was MY idea and I feel more comfy with these people at our hospital because I know them"  She said "Oh Ooooooooook"  So I said "Now we need to go right now because they have an opening...I've already called...so you head that way and I'll meet you there"  She said "Ok"...So I hung up and called Massac ER and asked for the head nurse and I said "I'm just tricked a friend into coming to the ER on a false pretense...something has gone haywire in her mind and she's having crazy hallucinations and talking to invisible people and she's planning a wedding at my house on May 19th with an imaginary groom and I need her evaluated and I need HELP"   The nurse was so SO nice and said "Ok yes...get her in here and we'll do a complete workup"  

Well...in the ER she told them all about this wedding that's coming up May 19th at my house and all about John Smith and the ER doctor said "Oh that's wonderful...have you been on a date with John Smith"...Jane said, "No"...and he said "Has John Smith been to your house in person" ..Jane said, "NO"...the doc said "Does John Smith call you on the phone?"  Jane said "No"...so the doc said "Well how are you communicating with John Smith..."...Jane said "Well it's complicated"  He said "Oh ok....I understand now...so let's get you a good physical and make sure you're ok for this wedding" :-) 

The doctor and nurse left the room and I said "Jane...I'd REALLY love to meet John Smith...you and I have been friends for years and I'd just feel better with you taking off to Michigan if I could meet him first" (they were now having the wedding at our house but going to Michigan on a honeymoon)    Jane said, "Oh OK...do you want to meet him NOW?"  I said "YES YES YES...right NOW I want to meet him NOW"  So she leaned to her left and said "John...Kay wants to meet you...do you want to meet her?"  And there was silence...so I said "Well does he want to meet ME or NOT?"  She said "YES he wants to meet you too"...so I just said "Well HI John Smith...I'm so glad to meet you...I've heard so much about you and I just wanted to be sure Jane was marrying someone nice and someone that would be good to her"  And there was silence...and I said "Jane ...I don't see him or hear him answering me..."  She said 'Well I have to answer FOR him and he's invisible to everybody but me"  :-0  So we conversed back and forth with John Smith for a bit and I said "Well John we've got this covered...and you aren't her husband just yet...so you go back and wait in the waiting room" So she said he walked out.  :-( 

I can NOT tell you of the bizarre happenings since that day in Massac ER examining room...it has gone from that bad to MUCH MUCH worse....now she's out doing surveillance on the neighborhood at night and has her elderly neighbor lady scared to death of her....she has trapped her cousin in her home and wouldn't let him leave...and I've talked with all kinds of health care professionals and then yesterday in desperation I called mental health and all I hear is that it is NOT a crime to be crazy...But "I" am thinking....maybe this is a brain tumor or something has happened that can be FIXED.....She was such a sweet and quiet person before this....and there's been so SO much more going on and that has happened that I can't even touch on here....I've told her cousin not to go back to her house until we can figure this out...He said "Don't worry...she scared me to death"....

I posted last night and got several private opinions and suggestions of where to go with this next, doctor wise...but it has rattled my nerves beyond measure...

I came home from church Wednesday night and Billy said "Your friend has called about 15 times..but I'd let it go till morning"  I said "No I need to call her back..because by her calling that many times...something is up and I'm afraid she's capable of anything...I have to stay on top of what she's up to....SO I called her and she said "I'm so glad you called back...my aunt and uncle have both died tonight in Michigan and John Smith is on the way to take me and my cousin up there"  Well I knew it was very unlikely they had both died in one night...so I asked to speak to her cousin and I said "Cousin Bob...do you realize there is no John Smith and there is not going to be a wedding May 19th...this is all in Jane's head for some reason...and I can assure you that your aunt and uncle have not died tonight...so you make an excuse and go on home and don't be alone with her again until we can figure this out and I'll call you at home in the morning we'll talk more about this" He said "Ok...I've been thinking something was mental with Jane"  :-/   So that's the night she trapped him there and wouldn't let him leave...she went out and tied her DOG onto the back of his car so he couldn't back out of the driveway...and wouldn't let him move the dog and was getting more and more mad...A quick phone call to Uncle John and Aunt Bertha that night...confirmed that they are alive and well but too elderly to deal with Jane...HOWEVER if she is committed somewhere they are interested in inheriting her farm... WHAT?????????  That FARM will go to another owner over my dead BODY while she's in this mental state...because she MAY get WELL if we can find someone with the gumption to take on her case.....

So what's on for today.....Heavenly Day NOOOOOOOO TELLING....I'm going to call a couple of these numbers I was given last night and if they think they can help or evaluate her...I'm calling her and telling her John Smith wants us to meet him at what ever office thinks they can help...But she' to the point now...I won't even ride in the car with her because she goes into this kind of trance and talks in a weird voice and she's even got old Annie Oakely scared out of my wits.......I meet her every where we go...and she keeps wanting to know WHY we can't ride together....I just say "Well I'm so swamped with your wedding so close...I'm just having to run here and there at the spur of the moment...but we'll do something relaxing soon"  :-/

So that's a look at what's going on....it has literally had me so rattled the last 3 weeks...I can't hardly concentrate to blog about warm and fuzzy and gardens and love and storybook living...because she starts calling at about 7:30am and one conversation with her and I'm rattled as all get out the rest of the day once the phone calls start....ONE person I talked to yesterday said "Just go file harassment charges against her and she HAS to stop calling"  WHAT????  The PHONE calls are not the real PROBLEM.... SHE IS PSYCHO AND SHE COULD HURT SOMEONE...YOU DO NOT PUT A BANDAID ON A PSYCHOTIC PERSON.......I've been researching out the wazoo...and she sound like a paranoid schizophrenic to me....And yesterday she started talking about all these people who commit suicide..so now she has that in her brain....She says now that a lot of people are impersonating ME...and she never knows when she's talking to me lately if it's really ME or someone impersonating me.....gads that's scary....she says there are people impersonating her too and doing bad things and making it look like she did it.....WHERE ARE ALL THESE SO CALLED PROFESSION AUTHORITIES we're supposed to call when we need help????  EVERYBODY is sending me to SOMEBODY ...ELSE.... It's things like this that we hear about AFTER a massacre and then people say...."Ooooooooooooooh sooooooooooooooooooooo sorry...we had no idea"  Well we have this documented in a blog...and if something bad happens....heads are going to roll in Massac County....COUNT ON IT!!!

I'll keep you posted.....earnest prayers appreciated...

Peace and love from the canyon...this has been a bird's eye view of the katydid and until next time..you are loved...
   


I wish this cartoon had been a woman....this is SO ...Jane



Or is it Alzheimer's....I have no clue....and the people trained in finding out...are not interested